Doggie style is one of the most popular sex positions, loved for its ability to allow deep penetration and provide both partners with complete intimacy. However, like anything in life, it comes with its own set of challenges and common mistakes. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore what those mistakes are, why they occur, and how to avoid them for a more pleasurable experience.
Understanding Doggie Style
Before diving into common mistakes, let’s briefly revisit what doggie style entails. This position involves one partner (the receiving partner) on their hands and knees, while the other partner (the penetrating partner) kneels behind them. Doggie style allows for deep penetration, increases clitoral stimulation, and can provide varied angles for intense sensations. Unfortunately, it’s also a position where miscommunication and physical discomfort can occur.
Why Understanding Doggie Style Matters
Understanding the nuances of this position—and recognizing common pitfalls—can lead to an enhanced sexual experience. According to a survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute, 51% of couples surveyed reported that they enjoy doggie style, highlighting its popularity and the importance of mastering it for a fulfilling sexual relationship.
Common Mistakes in Doggie Style
Now that we have a foundational understanding of doggie style, let’s explore some of the most common mistakes couples make in this position and how to avoid them.
1. Lack of Communication
Mistake:
One of the primary mistakes partners make during doggie style is failing to communicate their needs and preferences. This can result in discomfort, lack of arousal, or even pain for one or both partners.
Solution:
Before engaging in doggie style, take the time to discuss what feels good for both partners. Talk about angles, depth, and pace.
Expert Insight: Dr. Emily Morse, a sexologist and host of the podcast "Sex With Emily," states that “communication is the cornerstone of sexual satisfaction.” Make it a point to check in verbally or non-verbally during the act, adjusting based on each other’s comfort and pleasure.
2. Poor Positioning
Mistake:
Improper positioning can lead to discomfort or even injury. Both partners should be aware of their body mechanics to avoid straining muscles or joints.
Solution:
The receiving partner should keep their back straight and back out a bit to allow for a more comfortable angle of entry. The penetrating partner should position themselves appropriately, making sure not to bend over too far, which can strain the back.
Example: A slight adjustment can make a tremendous difference. The receiving partner can switch to resting on their forearms instead of their hands to support their weight better.
3. Overenthusiasm
Mistake:
When excitement runs high, partners may inadvertently initiate thrusts that are too vigorous or erratic, leading to discomfort or pain.
Solution:
Start slow and gradually build up speed. Pay attention to your partner’s breathing and body language to gauge their enjoyment and comfort levels.
Expert Insight: “People often underestimate the power of rhythm in sex,” says Dr. Laura Berman, a sex educator and relationship expert. Finding a comfortable rhythm can be the key to mutual pleasure.
4. Ignoring Clitoral Stimulation
Mistake:
While doggie style can provide intense penetration, it often overlooks the clitoris, which is essential for many women to achieve orgasm.
Solution:
Incorporate hands or toys to stimulate the clitoris simultaneously. The penetrating partner can reach around or use a vibrator; likewise, the receiving partner can stimulate themselves.
Research Note: A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that 85% of women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Including this element can enhance pleasure significantly.
5. Neglecting Comfort
Mistake:
Some partners may prioritize penetration over comfort, forgetting to create a space that feels good for both partners.
Solution:
Use pillows or cushions to support the pelvis or abdomen of the receiving partner, reducing strain on the back and allowing for a better angle.
Expert Tip: “You can completely change the experience just by elevating parts of the body,” states Dr. Berman. Experiment with different levels of support to find what feels best.
6. Lack of Lubrication
Mistake:
In the heat of the moment, partners may forget to use lubricant, which can lead to friction and discomfort.
Solution:
Always keep a good lubricant on hand, even if you don’t think you’ll need it. Water-based lubricants are particularly good for doggie style, as they can enhance comfort without being too sticky.
Insight from Experts: “Lubrication can make a world of difference,” says Dr. Shannon Chavez, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. “A little extra can go a long way in enhancing pleasure and comfort.”
7. Failing to Mix It Up
Mistake:
Couples may stick to the same routine within doggie style, which can lead to boredom over time.
Solution:
Experiment with different angles, speeds, and depths. If either partner feels uncomfortable, address that and adjust. Try shifting the height of the receiving partner’s body or having them lower or raise their hips for varied sensations.
8. Not Being Present
Mistake:
In the rush of passion, one or both partners might zone out, forgetting to enjoy the experience.
Solution:
Practice mindfulness during sex. Focus on the sensations, sounds, and movements of both your own body and your partner’s.
Expert Insight: Mindfulness coach Tara Brach emphasizes, "The more present we are, the more we can appreciate the subtle sensations and depths of intimacy.” Taking a moment to breathe and connect can increase arousal and satisfaction.
9. Ignoring Hygiene
Mistake:
Hygiene may take a backseat in the excitement leading up to sex, which can ruin the mood.
Solution:
Maintain good hygiene practices. Showering and ensuring that both partners are clean can enhance comfort and confidence during intimate moments.
10. Rushing
Mistake:
Couples sometimes rush into positions without adequate foreplay or preparation, which can lead to a lack of arousal and enjoyment.
Solution:
Engage in foreplay prior to moving into doggie style. This warms up both partners’ bodies and increases intimacy.
Expert Insight: “Foreplay is essential; it sets the tone and prepares the body,” says Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and author of "She Comes First."
Conclusion
Doggie style can be an incredibly fulfilling sexual position when performed with attention to detail and consideration for both partners’ needs. By avoiding common pitfalls—such as lack of communication, poor positioning, and neglecting clitoral stimulation—couples can build a deeper, more intimate connection in the bedroom. Remember to prioritize comfort, experiment with variations, and most importantly, communicate openly with one another.
FAQs
1. Is doggie style a good position for both partners?
Yes, doggie style can be an excellent position for both partners, allowing for deep penetration and the ability to vary angles for maximum pleasure.
2. How can I make doggie style more pleasurable for my partner?
Incorporate clitoral stimulation, use lubrication, and communicate openly to discover what feels good for your partner.
3. Can doggie style cause discomfort?
It can, especially if proper positioning isn’t addressed or lubrication is neglected. Ensure both partners are comfortable and adjust as needed.
4. How can I vary doggie style to keep things exciting?
Experiment with different speeds, angles, or positions. You can also add elements of surprise or incorporate toys to enhance the experience further.
5. What should I do if I feel pain during doggie style?
Communication is vital. If either partner experiences pain, stop and discuss adjustments—whether it be posture, speed, or depth—to ensure a pleasurable experience.
By recognizing and correcting these mistakes in the doggie style position, couples can transform their sexual experiences, fortify their intimacy, and, most importantly, enjoy the journey of exploration together.